its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
