I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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