ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
