So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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