Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
