I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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