Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize