So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
