But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
