i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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