Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
