Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize