Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
