My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
