Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
