well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
