So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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