I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
