Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
