How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
