Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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