Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
