you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize