In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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