'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
