I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
