Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
