Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
