Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
