Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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