I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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