no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
