party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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