he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
