"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
