Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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