too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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