Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
