Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Semen is not good for contacts.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
