I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
