If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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