he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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