she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
