So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
