As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
