my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
