yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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