We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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