Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
