Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize