I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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