thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize