Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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