I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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