This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
