"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize