Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
