Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
