She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
