Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
