Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
