The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
