part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize