I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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