I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
