It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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