You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she peed on how many people?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
